Recovery

In April 2009, I spent three days in the hospital with pneumonia. It was the week before a paid-for half marathon. When I asked the doctor if I'd still be able to run the race, he said I could do whatever my body felt like doing. I took that to be a yes. But once I got home I realized I couldn't even walk one block. The race was out. Instead I watched from the sidelines as my friends ran it.

Because the amount of damage to my lungs was unseen, I didn't understand just how much fitness I had lost. I figured I'd bounce back quickly. Every day I added a bit more distance; a week after my hospital stay I could run 1/4 block. Two days later I ran two miles, which was stupid. On the April 23rd, about two weeks after my hospital stay, I thought I could build up my speed again; another failure to face reality. I was racing by April 25th, and continuing to work on speed and distances (I ran seven miles on May 19).

By July 9th I was coughing again, and on the 25th I learned I had pleurisy and crackles in my lungs again. Once again I tried to run myself well in spite of chest pain. I ran a 5K in August at 28:27, near my pre-pneumonia pace. By October I was coughing and fighting lung pain again. This time it was bronchitis.

Finally I came to realize that I'd just keep relapsing if I didn't slow down and accept my post-pneumonia pace and distance. A review of my log shows a continuing struggle with lung pain; but also more instances of races not run, efforts at running slower when the lungs hurt and a concentration on keeping the breathing steady. I was learning to listen to my body and accept my physical state.

And that's when things also began to improve. I ran more and had to walk less. Sometimes, on a bad day, I only ran two miles. Once I ran a slow five miles. But I was running an entire three miles more and more consistently. Then on New Year's Eve I ran a hard sub-30 minute mile and still felt well afterward. The following week, in spite of wind child temperatures in the teens, I ran with little lung pain. Once I started listening to my body, I actually started getting better.

Runner's World repeatedly talks about coming back from an injury or illness slowly. Actually doing so is much harder, as it's very difficult to figure out exactly how much damage has been done, how slow to go and what distances to run. Sometimes, as I came to realize, the damage can be far greater than once expects. Coming back can take a lot longer than a person wants to accept. It's easy to deny reality and try to run yourself well. But that doesn't work.

In running, as in life, you must determine where you are before you can go somewhere else with purpose and direction.